Bah Humbug! Five Things Christmas Could Do Without

scroogThere are a lot of things about the holiday season I love:  Christmas trees, holiday lights, candy canes, to name a few. However, at the risk of sounding like a scrooge, there are a few things I could do without this Christmas.

  • The Elf on the Shelf: I’m not sure how this idea became so popular. It didn’t exist when I was a kid, and thankfully it was born sometime after my own kids (now teenagers). As if the threat of Santa skipping your house isn’t enough, we now need a magical elf to enforce Santa rule? Just the other day, my 11‐year‐old asked why we didn’t have an elf. I told him the elf wasn’t real and it was only used by parents of naughty kids. He still believes in Santa. Case closed.
  • Blow‐up Lawn Ornaments: Last week, a Facebook friend posted that her blow‐up Santa was stolen from her yard. I couldn’t imagine why someone would be compelled to take a person’s Santa balloon and assumed some teenagers were staging their own version of “Santa got run over by a reindeer.” Turns out, the thing had blown down the street and around the corner, and was found pinned under some bushes. Lucky that menace didn’t fly into someone’s windshield or take down the town’s electric grid.
  • The Yahoo Countdown to Christmas Clock: I came across this one while innocently looking up an address online. There it was, letting me know I had only 20 days, 10 hours, 7 minutes and 21 seconds to finish all of my shopping, cooking, baking, cards and everything else I try to fit in by midnight on December 24. The only thing that would make that clock more annoying would be a ticking noise.
  • Country Music Christmas Specials: I like a country song or two from time to time, but the two‐hour television specials featuring country music’s stars donning red and green are no excuse to bump my favorite TV shows into February. Isn’t there a satellite radio channel for people who want to listen to this genre of music 24×7? Stop torturing us with music we don’t want when what we really need is a date with the couch and the remote.
  • Reindeer Car Ornaments: Do I really need to say anything about this? Your car looks ridiculous.

What really brings out your scrooge during the holidays?

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